First Dates Advice for Men
These first dates advice are critical for men since you only have one shot at a first impression. As a matchmaker who gets feedback after every introduction, I hear first-hand the complaints from women about men’s behavior during first dates.
Appearance and Hygiene
They say that “cleanliness is next to godliness.” It’s also essential that you dress appropriately for the occasion and the time of day to avoid scenarios where your date shows up all dressed up for dinner at night, and you show up looking like you’re ready for a picnic.
- Wear a button-down shirt, nice slacks or dark jeans, buff your stylish shoes (not sneakers) if you’re meeting at a nice restaurant.
- Consider a nicely fitted sportcoat/blazer to finish the look.
- Whether or not you’re a mechanic make sure your nails are clean and short.
- Get a haircut if you need one a few days before your date. If you’re going bald, embrace it and shave it all off. So many women prefer a sexy bald head over the “older man” hair on the sides and bald on top.
- Be sure to look in the mirror for any extra hair around your ears, nose, and neck to look nicely groomed.
- Make sure your breath is sweet and fresh and just in case, bring a supply of breath mints. Nothing kills the second date more than bad breath.
There are some key things that women look at when they meet a man on a first date: their eyes, hands, teeth, and shoes!
- Don’t wear sloppy, wrinkled clothes or clothes that smell like they sat wet for a while before drying.
- Much like animals we humans are very much attracted to each other’s natural scent; and whatever you do don’t bathe in cologne. Your date may not like your cologne or worse she may be allergic and even be nauseated by strong perfumes.
- Do not chew with your mouth open or crunch on gum noisily.
- Please leave the sneakers at home unless you’re doing something very casual and even then make sure they’re nice and clean.
Attitude and Conversation
While most people feel nervous about first dates, the key is to go with an open heart, open mind and a genuine desire to have fun. I’m sure there will be times when you meet someone who is not right for you, but you should still be kind, courteous, and attentive and do your best to have a good time.
- Instead of arriving on time get there early. Some women don’t want to wait alone at a bar for instance if that’s where you’re meeting. Plus you’ll get a chance to see her walk in; it may be the best chance for you to check her out.
- Greet her with a handshake, a kiss on the cheek, or a warm hug and most importantly a smile.
- Be sure to give a genuine compliment about her attire, her hair, eyes or anything else that you feel is appropriate, just don’t be creepy.
- Whether you drive or take an Uber, watch how much you drink because it sends the wrong message.
- Always be friendly to the wait staff.
- Keep your demeanor warm and upbeat even if you’re not attracted.
- A great sense of humor is what most women look for, and this goes a long way.
- Don’t dominate the conversation or interrogate your date.
- Limit sarcastic humor; people misunderstand it especially when someone does not know you well enough to know you’re kidding.
- Avoid bragging about yourself or being conceited.
- Cursing is not appropriate because many women don’t like it or feel disrespected if you talk to them like they’re one of the guys.
- Don’t badmouth your exes. Don’t even bring up past relationships.
- Don’t be aloof just because you’re not interested in seeing the person again.
Communication and Body Language
“When the eyes say one thing, and the tongue another, a practiced man relies on the language of the first.” ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
- If you’re sitting down when she arrives at your meeting location, stand up to greet her.
- Keep your subjects lighthearted, when you’re meeting someone for the first time it is not appropriate to get too personal.
- Maintain an open posture, without being rigid, uncross your arms and lean in, attentively.
- Make good eye contact and don’t look at other women. Your goal is to make your date feel as if she’s the only person in the room.
- Take turns asking and answering questions or telling stories. Just make sure that they are an even exchange.
- Let your date get to know you organically, don’t have an agenda or a script that you go over everytime you’re on a date. Have some fundamental questions that you ask to keep the conversation going, and to avoid long awkward silences.
- Walk her to her car, a taxi or the subway at the end of the date.
- Don’t ask questions you wouldn’t want to answer yourself.
- Don’t talk about business the entire time, in fact, keep “work talk” to a minimum.
- Don’t bring up politics, exes, sex or your health issues. Certainly don’t bring up money, income or your debts.
- Put your cell phone away and don’t obsess over it.
- Don’t interrupt while she’s answering your questions or telling you her story.
These are just a few first dates advice for men to keep in mind. One on one coaching is another great way to learn more in-depth information about dating and how to interact with women.